I FOUND A DEAR FRIEND: A STORY OF A PHONE VOLUNTEER
A volunteer of the My Phone Friend project shares her experience, changes, and nuances of phone volunteering.
Each of us needs support from time to time. Sometimes, when looking for it, we turn to people we don’t expect to get the understanding we need. The story of Maryana Hasiak and Halyna is a vivid example of this mutual support. The strangers came together not only through phone talks hundreds of kilometers apart, but also through their hearts and complete acceptance of each other’s feelings.
Maryana Hasiak
Volunteer of the My Phone Friend project
“Despite our very different backgrounds, languages, life experiences, etc., I realize that she always supports me. I realize that I would not want to communicate with anyone else like this, because here I have found my person.”
On January 21, we celebrated our anniversary – three years of communication – and Halyna Sylvestrivna reminded me of this again. She is just like that, she reminds me of all holidays. We keep in touch all the time, and we haven’t seen each other yet, but it doesn’t harm our communication. She always asks what I look like now, since I often experiment with hairstyles, and I tell her.
But first, let me tell you how it all started.
— HOW DID YOUR STORY BEGIN?
I always felt that I should volunteer, but volunteering was a scary word, as I believed that it was a leap out of my comfort zone, not to mention unpaid, and not knowing what would happen to me.
And yet, I decided to do it as I was curious. I remember it was fall, maybe November. I filled out a form, sent it, and received my first contact. It was very scary because I didn’t know what to expect. I made a phone call. I don’t remember it well, but we didn’t get on well with that person, we talked for just a few minutes. Then in January, I went home for the holidays and decided to try again, hoping that there was another person. That’s when I got Halyna Sylvestrivna’s contact information. I called her for the first time on January 21, 2021, and since then we have been in touch at least once a week.
— HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR BENEFICIARY?
She is a fantastic woman! She is one of the most interesting people I have ever met in my life. She has completely changed the way I think about communicating with older people. I had a misconception that I, as a volunteer, would listen to how bad her life was. Now she listens to how bad my life is, because she always has it good (laughs).
Why do I call her a “fantastic woman”? Because she actually has difficult life circumstances. She tells me very little about herself, even though we have known each other for 3 years. So I can’t tell you her family history, but I know where she traveled, what dresses she wore – she was a fashionista and loved and still loves sweets – we have that in common. And in general, she is an interesting person: she loves art, paintings, and music. We sing, read poetry, and talk. I’ve always dreamed of singing, but I didn’t think I was good enough. Now I have someone to sing for. She was a woman with character: She liked to flirt, tell interesting stories, dress very nicely, and had a passion for all kinds of jewelry. She asks me what I’m going to wear when I share I have a class at the university tomorrow. And I tell her in detail what I’m wearing.
— WAS THERE A MOMENT YOU ARE PARTICULARLY GRATEFUL TO HALYNA FOR?
I think that despite our different backgrounds and all the other things, we are very similar in character. I had a situation in my life when I had to make a difficult decision. I had to decide whether to continue doing what I wanted to do or to sacrifice my dreams for a loved one. I then talked to Halyna Sylvestrivna, and she said that she had the same situation in her life. And she didn’t choose herself, which made her regret it: Now she’s in a difficult situation and the people she sacrificed so much for are not around.
I can tell you that these were words that made me think carefully. I believe I made the right decision thanks to her.
She is someone who had a lot of difficulties in her life and never shared them. Yet, she knows how to dream, how to light someone up, how to say: “Do you want to go to Norway? Okay, I want you to call me from Norway.”
I’ve always thought that older people are always grounded: They never dream, and they lose their ability to see something they simply like. Sometimes, we have preconceptions, and then we meet someone who breaks those beliefs. For me, Halyna Sylvestivna was such a person. I am very grateful to her because she helped me change my attitude towards people. Halyna is unique, and I don’t know many people like her. She has a zest for life that I don’t often find even in myself.
— IS THERE ANYTHING YOU LEARNED FROM HER?
I thought that when you feel bad, you have to live through it to the fullest, but I learned that you can change your focus to something else. She taught me this: If I’m not feeling very well right now, I’ll read a funny poem instead of reading a sad one. Instead of talking about why I’m feeling bad, I’ll dream about where I could feel better. It’s a kind of philosophy of life that I’ve caught from her.
Despite our very different backgrounds, languages, and life experiences, I realize that she always supports me. I don’t know how well I manage to support her, but the puzzle has been put together, and I realize that I wouldn’t want to talk to anyone else on the project because I found my person here.
It feels like magic to find an interesting person and be able to communicate with them. Everything that sounds romantic still goes through the routine and normal life. I am very glad that I tried, I dared, and I tried the second time. Communication allows me to see very interesting things I don’t even expect.